It’s been a roller coaster few weeks…
Let’s start with the good…I’m officially divorced! A process that took far too long because my ex-husband wanted to fight every step of the way…claiming to want me back while being as mean and nasty as possible.
So now that I’m free of that burden, the question is…now what? I’ve spent the last year with my life on hold, waiting to move forward…thinking that I needed to be divorced to figure out what comes next in my life.
I thought once I was divorced, I would feel this amazing sense of release…and while I do feel better…I’m also terrified. See, I thought I had found the man I was to spend the foreseeable future with…and when that went sideways, I just stopped…thinking…feeling…processing…all stopped…
I don’t want to be hurt again…and I’m not sure I trust my judgment anymore…it’s been almost 10 years of not so good relationships…Yikes!!
But my therapist (yes, I’m invoking that phrase) helped me realize that I need to listen to myself more…there were signs that I chose to ignore because I’ve wanted to believe that my fairy tale was coming true.
I’m a romantic…I believe in true love and fate…I believe that there are people who are just meant to be together…maybe it’s watching The Princess Bride one too many times…
I’m also a realist…I know relationships aren’t all puppy dogs and rainbows…there are challenges…it takes work on both sides…but the reward is amazing…
I’ve been assigned homework…I have to come up with some guidelines for a healthy relationship…things I should expect from a relationship…things that are a must…and things I can compromise on…
It feels like a daunting prospect…but it’s a must if I want to truly have my happily ever after…
Giant Curveball 